Emblazened
Biz claims to have seen me in a blue blazer at some point in time and offers as proof a picture of me in a decidedly non-blue blazer.
That kid is whack, yo.
Moreover, he owes me a check for $18 since I last rocked the BB at my bar mitzvah. What kinda jackass shows up to your bar mitzvah uninvited and doesn't even give you a present. Also, when I was 13, Biz was, like, 24 ... which is pretty sketchy.
Funnily enough, I actually did go buy some wedding attire this weekend. This, as the result of a conversation with my mom:
Mom: So, you have something to wear to the wedding?
Me: Dunno ... what should I wear?
Mom: Well, a blazer would be nice.
Me: ...
Mom: Or just anything nice.
Me: ... I've got some Dockers.
Mom: So, we'll just tell everyone that you're from California.*
And I realized why I don't enjoy shopping for clothes ... I don't know how to dress myself. I've got no idea what pants go with what jacket go with what tie. When I finally got asked "Do you need any help?" I'd never been so ready to say "Yes!" in my entire life.
* This exchange measured out as a low-level Class 2 on the Jewish Mother Guilt Trip Scale - compliance was not strictly necessary but I wanted some new threads anyway.
4 comments:
you managed to dress fine in high school...or did your mother dress you? hahah j/k
Might I also suggest getting a yarmulke? Perhaps a nice purple one? Ya gotta accessorize.
a great post, a few days before your birthday! that is so jewish of you....:)
The sad truth is that the percentage of my clothes bought by my mother has not appreciably declined in the past 10 years.
Today is, I think, a good day with 50% of my apparel being self-bought ... but that includes the belt.
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