The positive power of prayer

Gather 'round and clasp hands. We've got healing to do.

Somewhere out there is a lady - a lady in pain. The Lord tells me she's thrown out her back, brothers and sisters. Thrown out, I say, as were Adam and Eve from the Garden of Eden. And now she lies in prostrate agony, popping pain pills and slurping cranberry sauce.

Sauce and muscle relaxers ... the only comfort she now knows.

How did such a terrible fate befall her? For what transgression has she been so rebuked? She attempted to walk her cat.

Despite all good reasoning to the contrary, she went out and tried to slap a leash on her feline companion. Trusting her master, the cat made it as far as the front door before realizing that the world was just too big and frightening a place for one so small and furry. Ours is a world full of sin, my brothers, as well as of dogs and scary bicycles.

Confronted with cacophony of man's moral decay, the cat bolted! - leaving our poor sister scrambling after without any heed to the damage she might do to her lumbar reigion. And lo, damage was done.

So fill your hearts with love so that our collective goodwill may heal our fallen sister. You are in our prayers. We would bring you peace and relief from pain as well as offer wisdom. For it is easier to pass a camel through the eye of a needle than to harness a housecat unaccustomed to the ways of man.